Interdependence: An Evolving Superpower
In my coaching practice—and in my own life—I’ve noticed how unsettled we can feel about our dependency needs. Part of the American ethos is to be “strong and independent,” even though we know, deep down, that’s bull butter (my latest attempt at cleaning up my enthusiastic language choices).
Early in our careers, we’re taught to be independent: figure it out, do it ourselves, prove our competence. But over time, that rugged independence starts to crack under the weight of complexity, leadership, creative vision—or simply, life.
Here’s what I’m noticing: as we move through adulthood, we don’t outgrow our dependency needs. Instead, we evolve in how we fulfill them. We begin to notice them, stop fighting them, and learn to accommodate them.
Whether it’s leaning on a mentor for perspective, outsourcing what drains us, or surrounding ourselves with people who ground and challenge us, interdependence becomes the skill that transforms ambition into sustainability.
Here are three truths I’ve seen emerge in my coaching work:
1.Interdependence is a growth milestone, not a setback.
The most impactful leaders and creators I know have built strong support ecosystems. They’ve stopped pretending they can do it all—and stopped expecting others to. Real maturity isn’t independence. It’s resourced contribution.
Support isn’t weakness—it’s capacity.
2. When we intentionally fulfill our dependency needs—technical, emotional, creative, or operational—we free ourselves to focus on what we do best. Delegating, hiring, partnering, mentoring... these aren’t signs of giving up control. They’re ways to build momentum.
3. How you meet your needs reflects who you’re becoming.
Do you outsource from fear, or from clarity? Do you ask for help directly, or hope someone notices? Interdependence evolves when we stop hiding our needs and start designing for them.
Your support structures should grow with you.
Interdependence isn’t a detour from success—it’s a path. And in a world that glorifies self-sufficiency, claiming your evolving needs might just be your next act of leadership.
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To keep you centered and aware of your current motivations, consider checking out my “Be Your Own Coach” program! I always welcome your thoughts…..
